this warm fuzzy feeling
always gets me reeling
and whenever i'm dealing
with this kinda feeling
it always gets me thinking
about me and you frolicking

silly mushy thoughts

I love him for so many reasons it is hard for me to pin point on one.. but silly old me, I wanted to write up a list of reasons why I am so in love with this particular guy (an ego boost for him and something for me to do while i waited for his son to finish school that day).. when i started making that damned list it really got me thinking. At first I couldn't start. How was I to describe all these intense feelings I am having for him and how was I to explain why? I never realized that it was that hard to explain. All I know is that I am feeling all these feelings and they make me do stupid silly things I normally (a state where I am not under the influence of oxytocin - It is the hormone released by both sexes during orgasm and it is thought that it promotes bonding when adults are intimate. The theory goes that the more sex a couple has, the deeper their bond becomes or serotonin - One of love's most important chemicals and one that may actually make us temporarily insane) wouldn't do. Now, if I had to explain why I do all those stupid and silly things I would definitely say that it's because I'm so in love. But when asked why I am so in love? I was dumbfounded. I never knew that such a simple question would end up making me so tongue tied. After a long contemplation, I started writing the sentence..I love you because... and then I started to try and dissect my feelings one by one. Me, being the everything-has-to-have-a-reason-behind-it kinda girl, I just gotta find that reason why I am so in love with that one particular person. Even if it killed me! (Hey! Quit that sarcastic smirk! A girl can be two things at once right? In my case I am a cynical realist with a dash of drama queen)
I found that this feeling of love I'm feeling is actually this warm and fuzzy feeling in the pit of my stomach everytime I look at him or think of him (I certainly hope it's not indigestion!). And it is also this choked up feeling I have whenever I start thinking about how much I don't want to lose him. So, armed with that dissection of my feelings I started to make a list of when and why I would feel these warm, fuzzy, and choked up feelings. I came up with a looooooooong list. It turns out that once you start thinking about the why and stop feeling the now, your mind can got into overdrive and reward you with an enlightening that you probably need to help remind you why you are choosing to stay with one guy and not the next one.

Does love entitle you to be selfish? I guess not. It sounds absurd just reading it. But I guess when you are so much in love you just don't know what else to do. It's a load of crap when people say that 'sayang ga berarti harus memiliki' that love is not possesive. When you are in love with someone you just want to snatch him away and tuck him in your own comfortable little bubble. But of course you can't, that other person has a life of his own too and his own little bubble. And trying to stuff him or her in your technicolor bubble will only suffocate them. In the end I guess, you just have to be the bigger person and let your significant other breath their own air and I'm sure he or she will let you know when they are in dire need of a whiff of your irresistable scent.

Love is a bitch

Love is a bitch I say
And you say you agree
Well..at least to some degree

A conclusion, if I may
To rid of all the confusion
And hopefully result in a solution

Lame as it is
I do try to rhyme
Because it’s the only time
I feel some kind of bliss

One Day on YM

Q: ternyata being with someone you've been waiting for all your life is not always that easy yaaa..
Q: kalo di film-film the credit title's already rolling tapi sebenernya behind the scene masih jalan terus..
Q: kaya cinderella..
A: nothing is easy
A: iya after they married ternyata ngga happily ever after juga kok
Q: mungkin setelah dia kawin sama prince charming -nya terus di kehidupan mereka mulai deh masalah2 ga epnting tapi bikin si upik abu nagis tiap malem..
Q: jenjang sosial mungkin yang baru berasa
Q: secara cinderella setelah jadi istri pangeran musti main sama ibu2 pejabat
Q: salah kostum kan enggak lucu
Q: jaman dulu belum ada stylist bo!
Q: belum kalo dia diomongin sama keluarga2 kerajaan karena bukan blue blood
Q: enggak selevel!
Q : belum kalo tiba2 dia kangen nongkrong di sebelah fire place sambil mainin abu
Q: kan ga bisa toh dalam gaun couture harganya puluhan juta!
Q: hahahaha
A: :-D
A: berasa bangettt
A: kikikikikik
A: musti bakal banyak pembuktian lagi
A: ihhh emang enam
Q: emang enam?
Q: apaaaan??
Q: salah window ya?
A: enak
A: mending kawin sama tukang roti di ujung jalan de
A: emang enak
A: :-p
A: iya mending cinderela kawin sama tukang roti di ujung jalan
A: masi bisa main di fireplace
Q: Huahahahahah.. you got a point there!
Q: :-D

Walk with Me

I walk in front of you
you say you can't see the sun
I walk behind you
you say I slow you down
my confused heart screams, where..
you say, not in front of me, not behind me
but beside me with your arm around me
to help me up when I fall
to guide me when I'm lost
or just so I know I'm not alone
just by looking at your shadow next to mine
without having to look back
to see if you are still there
without having to stretch out
just to get a glimpse of the sun
but please, you follow,
don't push me aside
when the path is too narrow
so I say "please, walk with me"

Everybody's Friend

When he passes
trees bow down
making their leaves
an evergreen shelter

When he talks
the wind stops blowing
eager to listen
to every word of wisdom

But when he smiles
it's like throwing pebbles
into a pond of water
its soft touch sends
ripples of laughter
all the way
to the next heart
just a smile away

i wish

I wish
forgetting you is as easy
as throwing a bucket of cold water
on my face
to sober up